Monthly Archives: September 2010

Two Full Weeks into the cancer treatments and I’m already in the hospital. What the…?

After my bleomicin dose on Monday, I didn’t really feel that bad. Of course they give you plenty of ‘pre-drugs’ to prevent nausea and the other symptoms, so you feel good that day. The next day I was too weak to work,, so I called in sick and waiting another 24 hours before attempting to work.

The next day, I decided to go back to work and see what I can do. Well, it took all the energy I can muster to do the little detail. I would have to take a ‘breather break’ every so often to catch my breathe. Even when I was sitting down I felt light headed. I could feel my heartbeat and pulse. So, I plunged through it and made it a full day.

The next day, I decided to do it again, with much ‘inside debate’, about whether or not, to be able to stay the whole day or not. After the first hour, I could already tell, cleaning the whole day is not going to happen. So I told my co-workers, I’ll work till 12, but can’t make it beyond that. They were ok with that and knew I needed rest.

    I’m one of those type of people who believe, that if you don’t feel good when you get up in the morning, as long as you start moving forward, you will get better as the day goes on, and it usually works for me.

If it’s a headache or sinus related, then I get distracted by something at work or just focus on the task at hand, and it usually dissipates shortly afterwards.

But this time, it’s totally different. I could take enough breaks to catch my breathe nor could I focus on the task long without feeling totally fatigue. After awhile, I just had to ‘listen’ to my body and say, “Enough, I’m pushing myself to hard and I just can’t do it.” It’s not worth trying to be a ‘hero’. For what? For who? After all, everybody’s telling me not to ‘push it too hard’, ‘rest’, ‘listen to your body’, etc.

So that’s what I did and told my boss, “I’m done for today, I just can’t finish the rest of the afternoon.” He said, “Ok, get some rest and do what you can to recover, we’ll take care of it.”

So I went home early on a Thursday and rested. The symptoms I was having were: light-headedness, increased heart rate, drop in blood pressure standing vs sitting, and fatigued.
And this all stemmed from the chemo drugs and the reduction of white blood cells and platelets.

Thursday night, I got up to go to the bathroom and went. Then, I came back to lay down and started dry heaving. So I quickly ran back to the bathroom and passed out (apparently) because, when I came too, I found my face on the floor of the bathroom and had to push myself up to get to the toilet. It was a freaking mess! To me throwing up is the worse bodily expulsion feeling in the world. You have little control over it and it hurts, if you’re nauseous, you don’t know when it will happen and you do it whatever it takes to the inevitable. Vomiting just sucks!

So after that incident, I made it through the night, called in sick again and stayed home the next morning. Didn’t feel any change that morning and threw up again. This was interesting because I didn’t feel nausea. I just started dry heaving and throwing up. It could have been caused to dehydration, I just couldn’t drink enough water or juices.

My wife started to get nervous, and proposed to go to the emergency room to get some fluids pumped into me and go from there. I reluctantly agreed because I didn’t feel like going anywhere, especially, a germ infested place like the emergency room. But I went.

It was a Friday afternoon, so it was busy! We walked in got registered, and the triage nurse said it will be a long while before getting us in because of lack of beds. Within minutes of waiting, the triage nurse came and told us their was a bed ready, and said, behind closed doors, that she knew we needed attention (God’s favor). So we were able to find a bed right away and they started treatment.

More to come…

  • Share/Bookmark

Cancer Treatment Day 6: Exhausted!

It’s the sixth day after five full day treatments, and I feel like I’ve been hooked up to an electric chair and left for dead. No strength. Barely, enough to type this out.

But you should know, how cancer sucks the life right out of you. The amount of drugs they use to combat this disease, is enough to wipe out the strongest athlete. In the back of my mind, I’m saying, “Get up! You can do this!” But the rest of my body, says,”Yeah, right, you aren’t going anywhere!”

When I’m able to go to the kitchen or bathroom, I have to stop and sit down, because of the massive head rush and the lack of strength. Wow, they said they were going to hit me hard, I wasn’t expecting this. But it’s all part of the process.

The nurse says,”This is only temporary. You’ll look back on this and see it was nothing but a bleep on your life and you’ll be doing much better.” Encouraging words. I’ll take what I can get. She also said, “Listen to your body, and not to push it.”

Again, we take it one day at a time and move forward. Of course, after this past week, I’m not sure how to deal with the other full weeks of cancer treatment, but we’ll stay strong.

  • Share/Bookmark